77 things about moi

OK people, it’s time for Cessel to get motivted. I must confess, my previous posts have been as interesting as a Chess Board Collectors Convention. Aka, damn boring. So i have decided to right this collosal wrong and let you in to my life, and try it make it interesting at the same time. Good luck to me! So, to start this little project of mine, here are 77 things you didn’t know about moi. Well, some of you might but, oh well, put up with it! Number One. Hmmm, let’s see, I use to fight for room with myself in my own bed (damn half awake - half asleep limbo-ness) Number Two. I have three hairs in each arm pit and five on each leg. Number Three. When i was little i use to always carry around a XXXX beer tap that i named Wednesday. Number Four. I have double jointed elbows. Number Five. My nickname in high school was TossLess. Number Six. I have long feet and small toes. Apparently they are ‘cute’. Number Seven. I sneeze like a cat. Also apparently cute. Number Eight. Burp. Number Eight. Burp. Number Eight. Burp. Number Nine. I stayed in a hotel for the first time last year. Number Ten. I live with a Sexy Cheetah! Number Eleven. I have dressed as a man twice, convincingly. Number Twelve. I once had car named “The Lean Mean Bunny Hopping Machine”. Number Thirteen. I have Two wives, One Mistress and a boyfriend. Number Fourteen. 2004/2005 new years i was hit on by two females. And no guys. Might have something to do with number eleven.... Number Fifteen. I can play ‘Smoke On The Water’ on guitar. On one string. Number Sixteen. When i was younger, Jimmy Barnes sang to me. Number Seventeen. I am a HUGE muppets fan. Number Eighteen. You don’t make friends with salad. You don’t make friends with salad. Number Nineteen. I would love to have been a teenager during the 1950’s. Number Twenty. This is my age. Number Twenty One. This is Not my age yet. will be my age in October. Number Twenty Two. I am a Libra. My turn ons include silk sheets, my turn offs include rude people. Number Twenty Three. I want a statue of myself made out of chocolate. Number Twenty Four. I love shoes and bags! Number Twenty Five. I have an arm fetish. Mmmm Vin Diesel.... (slobber) Number Twenty Six. I love watching kids cartoons and sesame street. Number Twently Seven. I own a CatDog puppet! Number Twenty Eight. The first time i ever took/smoked drugs was by accident. i thought the joint was a rollie and smoked the whole thing by myself in the local nightclub. Number Twenty Nine. I once sat an exam whilst passivley high. Yes, i failed. Number Thirty. At 5 pm ish on the 31st of December 1999 i sprained my ankle. I had to spend the rest of the night on painkillers with my mum and brothers. Number Thirty One. I just broke a nail. Damn. Number Thirty Two. I love long walks on the beach and picnics in the park. Not. Number Thirty Three. I have only ever recieved two red roses, and both because they were guilted into it by the people selling them. Number Thirty Four. In Year Eleven i was a frog. Number Thirty Five. I ate Dog Chocolates when i was little. Number Thirty Six. Seven is my favourite number. Number Thirty Seven. My alter ego is Helga. She is a backpacker from Sweden, her brists are perky and she never knows vere ze zvimming iz. Number Thirty Eight. My fav ice cream flavour is bubble gum. I always dye myself green. Number Thirty Nine. I HATE thursdays. They are now referred to as SMARCH, change all calenders accordingly. Thank You. Number Forty. When i am this age, i look forward to midlife crisis, where i will buy a red sports car, divorce my husband (if i in fact have one) and have lots of meaningless encounters with men half my age.Yay! Number Forty One. Geez, getting along now aren’t we. Getting hard to think of stuff. If you made it this far, congratulations, if not, you are a lazy bastard. Not like you are going to read my insults anyway. Twat. Number Forty Two. I am addicted to lime cordial! Number Forty Three. I love sudoku puzzles and scrapbooking. I’m twenty going on sixty! Next i will take up knitting! Number Fourty Four. I have a pet cat called Covu. She was the family cat, but adopted me as her owner. She hates everyone else, gets upset when i come home smelling like other cats, chases small dogs down the road and demands her dinner be ready when she comes inside, five times a day. She is the perfect husband! Number Fourty Five. I’m not a very patient person. Number Forty Seven. I also take lots of short cuts. Number Forty Eight. I’m starting to run out of things to write. Number Forty Nine. Oh damn. Number Fifty. I LOVE Desperate Housewives! The T.V. show, not actual wives. Oh bugger it. To be continued........ (I couldn’t be arsed thinking up 27 more things about myself. But i promise to update when i find more! Feel free to ask questions tho, I also promise to answer them as honest as possible! Or as humerously as possible..... Maybe you should specify which you would prefer. Or I could just answer it both ways. Am I wafling on? I am? Oh, I’ll stop typing now!) Till Next Time, Goodbye Cruel World! (OK, I’ll stop.....NOW!)

Over Age

Howdy all! How is everyone on this luverly Friday? I am looking forward to a night full of suspense, action, comedy and drama! No, i'm not raiding a video store, I am venturing into the unknown world of under 18 parties! Ok, so i have been to teeny bopper parties before, but that was purely because i was one and i can't really remember much from them besides scabing smokes, standing in darkened front yards, listening to Eminem (urgh) and drinking Vodka mixers till the sun came up. But this will be different as i WONT be 'one of the crowd'. I will be the 20-something that looks completely out of place, constantly asked to hand out smokes and drinking champagne in small, classy bottles. Oh, and i will be wearing more clothes than anyone else there put together! I have to admit it is a bit daunting. Kind of like being the only deer in a Lion cage! No matter how much you try to hide they will always sniff you out. But it could be benificial for me in a way! I will be cool due to the fact that age is always a novelty to the under 18's. For example i can drink, drive (even after having one drink!), vote, party in pubs and clubs all without legal consequences! Something unknown to this bunch. Hell, when i was their age i thought people older than me were cool! But, enough of that, i shall fill you in at a later date. Last night, whilst lying in bed with my trusty book i stumbled upon something so hilarious i nearly gave myself a free ride in an ambulance! This book i mentioned is full of short stories written by top female authors, and one story was all about boobs and the never ending search for the perfect size. It made me think, what is the perfect size, small, large, round, perky, saggy? I must confess mine are very large, round and a tad bit saggy (damn gravity) and i hate them. But is smaller really better? So, i must pass this question on to you before i start groping every woman in sight to find my answer. What do you think is the perfect size breast, does it matter, would you consider a boob job, and what is the fascination with this particular body part? Till next time, Goodbye cruel world!

Love Is In The Air

Happy Valentines Day! To everyone out there i hope today is filled with flowers, chocolates, cards and romance! I got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning, so, knowing my luck my day will be filled with allergies, weight issues, junk mail and heartbreak. Not much has really been happening lately. My fish died. It was sad. Kez and I flushed him down the loo (yes, i love Finding Nemo!), well i flushed him while Kez stood there going "Oh My God, thats gross!". But it all ended well as i now have two fish! i went a bought them the other day. They are so cute! well, as cute as fish can be. Nic is leaving in 2 days. Sob. I still have no job. Sob Sob. And i really dont have anything else to talk about. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Once again, if you read this, comment and suggest something i should write about! not good at coming up with it all on my own! Kinda hard when all you do all day is mope and look for work!. Well, till next time, goodbye cruel world!

Confessions of a non-teenage idiot

Ok Kez, you asked for it, here we go......

My top 50 Goals.
1. Find 49 life goals.
2. Actualy get a life to go with life goals.
3. Buy soccer goals. (he he he, ok serious now).
4. Buy hot new wardrobe.
5. Find money for hot new wardrobe purchases.
6. Get a job (might help with no. 4 and 5).
7. Eat more chocolate.
8. Loose weight.
9. Dye hair cool funky colours.
10. Maybe quit smoking..... maybe.
11. Own a Tickle Me Elmo.
12. Win the lottery (might not have to get that job then!!!!!)
13. Own a villa in the south of France.
14. Own 2 villas.
15. Own lot's of villas.
16. Own France.
17. Take over the world!!!! mwa ha ha ha.
18. Write No. 1 pop song so i can meet lots of famous people.
19. Marry Johnny Depp.
20. And Angelina Jolie!
21. Wax John Howards eyebrows.
22. Sell my brother into slavery.
23. Buy lots of shoes.
24. And bags.
25. Learn how to play a musical instrument... maybe the kazoo.
26. Have wardrobe malfunction on live TV.
27. Find cool hip groovy friends to hang out in at funky bars.
28. Find a funky bar.
29. Drink lots of coffee with husband Johnny and wife Angelina in villa
30. See all my fav. bands live.
31. Finish a computer game (only coz i never seem to do it!)
32. Learn how to play poker.
33. Buy cool green visor and sit in smoke filled room drinking beer and playing poker.
34. Be worshiped by hot men.
35. Cook 1 meal without burning it or stuffing it up.
36. Become a pimp.
37. Travel around the world that i now own.
38. Analyse Dr Phil.
39. Get into Uni.
40. Pass Uni course.
41. Become successful professional and wear POWER SUITS!
42. Have an active social life.
43. Quit blogging due to active social life and no time to blog.
44. Achieve world peace (omg, i sound like a pagent bimbo!)
45. Buy new funky mobile phone.
46. Make Kezz watch Grease.
47. Watch a broadway musical.
48. Be in a broadway musical.
49. Have a broadway musical made about ME!
50. OWN A PORSCHE!!!!!!

THE OTHER ONE.
Two parts of my heritage.
1. German
2. Dutch

Two things that scare you.
1. My reflection
2. Bugs

Two fears you've overcome
1. Living with Kezz
2. The Dark

Two of your everyday essentials.
1. Cigarettes
2. Chocolate

Two things you are wearing right now
1. Jumper from 2005 school musical Grease
2. Cool green sparkly topy thingy

Two things you wore too much of this year.
1. Black skirts
2. Black tops

This years favourite bands or musical artists
1. System of a Down (new album is soooo catchy!)
2. Mudvayne (thanks Nic for the call AAAAH! liveness is goooood!)
3. Metallica

Two things you want in a relationship
1. Johnny Depp
2. Angelina Jolie

Best movies of all time.
1. American History X
2. Seven
3. Queen of the Damned
4. Charlie and the Chocoalte Factory (Tim Burton one)
5. Corpse Bride

Two things you hate
1. Tuna
2. Bitchiness

Two of your favourite hobbies
1. Scrapbooking (yes, granny like but its fun!)
2. Crusing around aimlessly in Elmo - my car

Two things you learnt last year.
1. Going back to school is harder htan it seems.
2. Me + Alcohol = BAD!

Two accomplishments you were proud of.
1. Going back to school
2. Moving out of home

Two things you want really badly
1. A Porsche
2. A Red Rose

Two places you went last year
1. Adelaide
2. Geelong

Two places you want to go on vacation
1. Paris
2. Egypt

Two things you want to do before you die?
1. Live
2. Have fun doing it

Two ways that you are a stereotypical example of your gender?
1. My obsession with shoes and bags
2. Skirt wearing

Two things that make you stand out from your gender
1. I own a fishing rod and i use it!
2. I only spend 5 minutes on my face and hair

Two things you wouldn't normally admit.
1. I like Rouge Traders and Black Eyed Peas. shhhhhhh!
2. I havent shaved my legs for 2 weeks.

Two goals for the new year
1. Get a Job
2. Get fit

Well, there we go. lots about me. now im tired - too much thinking - , so i guess i will pass this batton on to Nic, good luck gurl!