It's Raining Men

Men suck. I think that explains everything really. But if you are still not satisfied with this statement, I shall explain. Men really, really suck.

I have had the weirdest week, and it all seemed to revolve around the idiotic actions of males. I say idiotic, but what I mean is .... well, I can't really say. Too many curse words for one blog.
It all started last Saturday night. I was having a drink with my best mate, well, more than one, and having a rather good time. I felt sorry for this poor guy at the bar who seemed lost. So, me being me and quite drunk, I went up to him and said "have you lost something?". Yup, not the best pick up line ever, but it worked. The next day he asked if he could call me and catch up again to which i replied "ugh". Hangovers suck, especially when there is someone else there. The next day he called and we caught up. This went on all week. Till Friday....

I was at my place picking up a few things for that night (yea, I was heading out again) when I got a phone call. It was him. He pretty much got to the point and said "I don't think we should see each other anymore". First, omg, how friggen lame is that statement. We are not in a mills and boons novel. And it had only been a week. Thats not 'seeing someone'. Anyway, he explained that he still had feelings for someone else and that she had been around at his place that night saying that, when she broke up with him, it was not because she didnt like him, it's just that she needs time. I really wanted to tell him that this really means "I don't like you enough to be in a relationship with you, but I like you enough (or the ego bost anyway) to not want you to be with anyone else". He chose to wait till she had "dealt with her issues". I told him to delete my number. I was not overly upset. Actually, I found it rather amusing. But this was the first thing to go wrong.

A mate had come down for the weekend with two of his friends, a couple who really needed to get a room, screw, and get it out of their system. We organised to catch up with them on Thursday ngiht for a few drinks. They had been there all of an hour playing pool, when one of them felt a bit sick and they all had to leave. Not sure why they all left, but I didnt ask questions. We planned to catch up the next night. We had all gone out for tea and they had left to go back to their rooms to get ready. Later we got a message. Someone else was feeling sick, so they decided to stay in their rooms. I was a bit put out, but kinda pleased that I could get some sleep. Saturday night came round. We had planned from the beginning that we would have drinks at my place with a few other people we knew. This is the part that REALLY pissed me off. The other people showed up. I messaged them. And guess what.... one of them felt sick. I was really getting sick of this excuse. The said that they would still try to make it though. A couple of hours later I check my phone and find a couple of messages from them. After a bit of back and forth they tell me they feel sick, arent drinking, but are at the local nightclub playing pool. Now, I must ask, If you are feeling ill, why would you go to a nightclub to play pool? The thing that really got me going was that they chose to play pool over hanging out with us, who are suppose to be thier mates. And they had done this more than once! So, I sent a message saying that it was a bit beyond a joke. He got a bit upset with me for that. The rest of the time I was pretty much ignored, they complained about a few more things, then they left.

The last thing that happened that weekend is the most annoying of them all. I had been 'friends' with a guy for about a year before it was decided that we should end it. He then went overseas on holiday. Friday night (I was suppose to be out, but wasnt due to cancelation - see above) I got a message at about 1 am asking me if I was out or at home from this 'friend'. I said I was home about to watch movie. About an hour later I got a phone call. He asked if he could come around and me, feeling a bit down after being 'dumped', stupidly said yes. So, come around he did, where he proceeded to tell me he missed me, wanted to be with me, but wasnt sure after everything else that had happened (ex wife etc). I was very confused. In the morning he left and I havent heard much since. Awesome. not.

So, I sit here dumped, rejected and confused all thanks to a few males. Ugh, Men suck. Im gonna go make myself a chocolate cake.

Weight of the World

Why is everyone wingeing about their weight? For f**k sake, Im sure there are more important things to bang on about, like the price of fuel (which was getting better, but seems to have taken a step backwards recently), or how you can never seem to find that hot top you saw a few weeks ago when you finally have enough money to buy it. Sure, a little bit of body image awareness is healthy, but complete obsession over 1 kg? I dont get it. If anything, I should be the one freaking out over whether I should have that last tim tam or go for a cross country run over burning coals (fat burns off, right?). How many people have, instead of going and talking to that hot guy/chick, have stood there thinking "omg, they might catch a glimpse of my arse mountain/ bingo wings / thunder thighs with extra thunder" while someone else has made a move and you have missed out? And then you notice that the guy/chick doesnt seem to notice the other persons spare tyre. In fact, they seem to be getting on fine despite their physical let downs, that, by the way, only you can see because that is all you think about. To be quite honest, I am more worried about how my awesome joke will work in a real life situation and if he will laugh at it or look at me like I suggested we take over the world by contaminating the vodka supply with a mind control drug. I dont have time to worry about my butt. Ill worry about that if I actually take the guy home.
But, if this seems to be suck a major issue for people, don't fret. Im sure Apple are working on an iButt, where you can check and rate your arse on a small, slim and stylish electronic gadget, which also plays "Fat Bottomed Girls" if you are a bit on the porky side, or Victoria Beckhams latest single if a Butt is undetected.
So, GET OVER IT! Honestly, you are the only one who cares how much you weigh. I personally dont give a fig.