Weight of the World

Why is everyone wingeing about their weight? For f**k sake, Im sure there are more important things to bang on about, like the price of fuel (which was getting better, but seems to have taken a step backwards recently), or how you can never seem to find that hot top you saw a few weeks ago when you finally have enough money to buy it. Sure, a little bit of body image awareness is healthy, but complete obsession over 1 kg? I dont get it. If anything, I should be the one freaking out over whether I should have that last tim tam or go for a cross country run over burning coals (fat burns off, right?). How many people have, instead of going and talking to that hot guy/chick, have stood there thinking "omg, they might catch a glimpse of my arse mountain/ bingo wings / thunder thighs with extra thunder" while someone else has made a move and you have missed out? And then you notice that the guy/chick doesnt seem to notice the other persons spare tyre. In fact, they seem to be getting on fine despite their physical let downs, that, by the way, only you can see because that is all you think about. To be quite honest, I am more worried about how my awesome joke will work in a real life situation and if he will laugh at it or look at me like I suggested we take over the world by contaminating the vodka supply with a mind control drug. I dont have time to worry about my butt. Ill worry about that if I actually take the guy home.
But, if this seems to be suck a major issue for people, don't fret. Im sure Apple are working on an iButt, where you can check and rate your arse on a small, slim and stylish electronic gadget, which also plays "Fat Bottomed Girls" if you are a bit on the porky side, or Victoria Beckhams latest single if a Butt is undetected.
So, GET OVER IT! Honestly, you are the only one who cares how much you weigh. I personally dont give a fig.