Bring On The Champagne!

I am soooo in love with Christmas! Had a Christmas party at my place Friday night. It was fun. Me and Bobby made punch. Good punch. You can kinda guess how the reat of our night went. Lots of dancing on the back of Country Girls ute, Annoying our Neighbour and general drunkeness. Have no idea how i ended up out at our local crappy nightclub, but i was there. not sure what happened there, but i was there all the same. Sat night went and watched a couple of bands, went out and ended up shit faced again. A friend (we shall call her E. Walker) of mine ended up with some guy standing out the front of her house. Weird!
In other news, Kabby is trying to break up with this guy. She broke up with him a week ago and she has just kinda realised they may as well be together again. Poor love cant stand hurting people. Anyways, things have gotten pretty desperate. On both sides. He msged her and asked her what she would do if she found a ring under the christmas tree. Well, yep, there is a ring involved and she doesnt know what to do. Its christmas and you must be a bitch to break up with someone on a holiday. I do it all the time. I should maybe stop doing that. Although, if Kabby does it on Christmas, between me and her we will have New Years, Easter and Christams for 2006 covered. I dont know what to say to her but "this should have been over ages ago". What do you do in that situation? Rip his heart out or possibly risk him still having the wrong idea about the relationship. What would you do people out there in blog world? Has it happened to you or have you had to do it to someone? Help us please!

It's Begining To Look Alot Like Christmas

I'm so excited! I love Christmas! And it's getting closer. Me and my housemate decided to buy one of those advent calander thingies with the windows you open each day leading up to christmas. Yep, we did it for the Chocolate, but oh well. We found a Mr Men one. He he he he. My works Christmas party is tomorow night, which should be interesting. Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. But free grog, who could say no! (also have permission to get slightly shloshed, but shall refrain. Thank god we dont have a full sized photocopier!) Me and Bobby (housemate for those playing at home) have also organised our own chrissie party! Its only 2 weeks away! First one i have ever held that involved alcohol. Go me. We have decorated our house, but both agree we need more tinsel. Can never have too much tinsel! And our tree is a bit on the patheticaly small side, but we are making up for it with Christmas cheer. And Muppet Christmas Movies. I have a few more pressies to get yet, i just have no idea what to buy people. And i have to buy the ingredients for my Christmas Punch. I have no idea what those ingredients are as i am making it up as i go along. Wish me luck. Might get some of those cool chips that are shaped like christmas trees. They just look funky. Still havent finished writing out christmas cards. I am so slack. Should do that tonight. I'll put it on my massive to do list. Also must get some tacky christmas carols cds. Just to add to the whole fake christmas charm we all love so much.
Crap, my boss is back. I gotta run. Post more later. Toodles!

I went out last night. I know i know, i shouldnt go out on a school night, but i couldnt help it. The alcohol was calling me. Actualy i had a great night. I got a number (woop woop) and an address (dont quite know what the go was with that though!?) and an ex confesed his undying love for me. weird weird, but fun. Went to the local "nightclub" and half of the staff had the night off and were already drunk when i got there. It was hilarious. One of them threw up before 11 which i thought was impressive. The place only opened at 10! got me out of the house anyways. Tonight i have been begged to go back and pull an all-nighter with the staff after hours. I really should have a quiet night in, but we all know i wont.
Hasnt the weather been fucked up lately. We have had freezing cold days. I kept getting brain freeze when i stuck my head out the door. Then, today, the sun is out and its t shirt (maybe even shorts) weather. What the hell is going on????? hey, weather dude MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND! Its been REALLY freaky and weird.
Talking about freaky and weird, we have our local christmas pagent tomorrow. Paper mache and kids on the back of trucks. woo hoo. And the most up-fucked thing about it is im going to watch my mum coz she will be in it. well she is sitting in a truck with her BF who has been conned into driving it. I plan to still be drunk! Oh, and i need a santa hat. Its not the same if you dont wear a dodgy santa hat. I wonder if i have last years somewhere. I might have to buy a new one. The always seem to go missing after christmas, well, mine do.
Well, im going to go do some work. Toodle pip.

My New Pet

Meet BUFFY. My new pet bat. Yep, got bored at work and thought, what the hell, he looks cute. Hope you like him. I know i do. He he he.

-No Title-

Howdy all. i have updated my blog, arent i a good girl. how was everyones weekend? mine was fine, i guess. Nothing overly exciting happened to me though. No abductions, no demonic possesions, no psychotic behaviour. i didnt even break a nail. how dull. Friday night i had a quiet one in. unbelieveable, i know. but i had a cold and felt like shit. Saturday noght was pretty uneventful. went out, got pissed. nothing unusual. Woah! A whole heap of children are walking past the place i am working in. Ahhhh, save me! Children scare me. well, not really. only because i know i am bigger than they are! ha ha, suck, kiddies!

Anyways, got a bit off track there. OMG i would kill for a smoke. Yes, i know, bad habit, gonna kill ya blah blah blah blah, I buy packets with those graphic pictures. Hey, you know, i just had a great idea. They should put pictures of morbidly obese people on Maccas packaging to deter people. Or ban fatty foods from public places. Thatll learn em.

Yesterday was weird. I cleaned up the house (have an inspection tomorrow, damn it), made my special sausage rolls, did my washing and even went grocery shopping. But i am so sore today! I'm aching all over. shows how active i am! I dont know what got me so motivated, but tonight im thinking i might take my mums dog for a walk and keep this thing going, while i still feel like this. Wish me luck.

I dont really know what else to write about. might walk the dog an think about possible posts. Well, im off. have fun all! Goodbye cruel world... Till next time.

Blargh

Urgh. Ever have one of those days when you just feel like absolute shit? I'm having one of those days. I am getting a cold, I have had 3 hours sleep and a killer hangover just to top everything off! And i am at work again. Damn it. I shouldnt be sitting at this desk. I am completely useless in this state. a zombie. maybe i should audition for the next installment of the living dead. Nah, id be too lifeless. SNAP OUT OF IT CESSEL!
That didnt do anything. Anyways, i caught up with a mate i havent seen for ages last night! We use to best friends in high school, but had a huge falling out over a guy (he was not worth it we found out later). We started talking again towards the end of school, but havent really kept in touch. I found out she was down and i saw her out last night, so we ditched everyone else and chatted for ages. and got drunk. dont think her boyfriend is too happy with me for stealing her away, getting her drunk and kidnapping her till 6am. I love catching up with people from high school. you can revisit crushes, where they are now, how crappy school socials were and the dance moves we busted as teeny boppers. Anyone watching us or over hearing some of our conversations would have thought we had well and truely lost the plot. but it was so fun.
Also bumped into a whole heap of my mums (and formerly Kez's) work mates last night. They were messier than i was! Crack up. Apparently there was a farewell last night and they had all decided to party on afterwards. I wonder how many called in sick today? I know i should have. urgh. The only problem is, my mums work mates are very affectionate when they are pissed and i ended up covered in grog! Hey, tonight all i have to do is ring out my jeans, theres enough grog in there to get me well on my way again. Actualy, im thinking of having a quiet one tonight. dont all fall over at once. I probably wont stick to it, but im gonna try!
crap, boss is here. got to fly. Goodbye cruel world, for now.

Oh My Gawd

Woo hoo, two posts in one day. But i just HAD to share this and i forgot earlier.
My ex is a bit of a dimwitted tard. First he "doesnt want a relationship" then ditches me for a chick who is, frankly, butt ugly and psycho, then he expects me to still sleep with him every now and then. Wanker. while at the local night club (in fact, said night club was voted the worst in SA, but what can you do, only place that is open late enough) i see him and his "girlfriend". He goes to the toilet and returns to find the nutter pashing some other guy. i find this to be an instant reason for relationship termination, but no, he decides to push the other guy and start shit. Result: he gets kicked out of the club (through the side door) and she wonders what is wrong. i witnessed this from two meters away standing at the bar waiting for my drink. i laughed my arse off. And if this didnt destroy his dignity enough, i happen to bump into him whilst talking to some friends, who are also his friends (damn it) and in his "i am man, hear me roar and brag" he tells us how his lovely caring girlfriend stubbed a ciggie out in his eye and he has been in hospital all week. He cracked up whilst we all stood there with our mouths open. What the...? He was bragging about his obviously fucked up relationship. What the hell? At what point do people think that getting your eye stabbed with a ciggie is a normal, rather amusing occurance that you share with a loved one? And that when you tell your mates, wonder why no back slapping and "good one mate", "got a good catch there follow". We all thought he was joking! Obvioulsly not. Im so glad i dont have to put up with that shit anymore.
Oh dear. the fucktardary us normal humans are exposed to. How wrong would it be if i were to walk up to someone and say "Omg, my boyfriend beat the shit out of me and ive been in hospital all week with broken bones and a punctured lung, he must really love me". id be committed! And, just to make sure his dignity was well and truely destroyed, he goes on to add how many fingers he can shove up her arse with no lube. Ok, first, too much information and second, do you want to make sure everyone knows how much of a slut your girlfriend is and how much of a perverted twat you are? The number was four for you curious people playing at home. I nearly threw up my well scabbed drinks! And to tell this to people you havent seen for months! WHAT A LOSER. im sorry, im astounded at the sheer fucked-up-ness of the whole situation! As you would be, i hope.
Well, im gonna finish my work and head home. thought id share that disturbing tidbit with you.
Goodbye cruel world and dont over share! it gets a bit weird! Till next time peeps.....

By the way....

Lately those three words have meant nothing but doom and gloom for little ol' me. Why is bad news always disguised as an afterthought? It's very sneaky i find. And it happens alot. I'm sure all of you out there have had the "Oh, by the way..." bad news. It takes many forms. "By the way... your fish is dead", "by the way... you have two days to live", "by the way... you are no longer needed in this job", "by the way... I accidentaly butchered your cat, Tigger with a machete." Kinda weird how people think if i act like i forgot to tell you, but then just remembered before you left, it won't be as bad as if i just told you straight out. The most recent of these "afterthoughts" i have been victim to is the legendary "by the way... i'm actualy seeing someone else". Ummm, why didn't this come out before? You could have told me the first time i saw you, or the second. Maybe the third? All better options than sending a msg saying "can't catch up tonight, sorting something out, i will explain it all later". Once again the real message is disguised. So, i called him. here is a summary:
Me: "Whats wrong?"
Him: "Nothing, don't worry, ill tell you later"
Me: "Is it something to do with me?"
Him: "Uh, kinda"
Me: "Dont you think i should know then?"
Him: "Uh, yea, i guess"
Pause
Me:"Well.... what is it?"
Him: "Uh, i gotta sort something out"
Me:"Like what? with me or what?" (yep, im a bit confused)
Him: ""No, uh.. im kinda seeing someone else"
Me: "WHAT!"
Him: "I know i should have told you before..
Me: (inturupting) "Yes, you should have"
Him: ".. but i didnt"
Me: "So, if i hadnt called you, when would you have told me this?"
Him: "Dunno"
Me: "So why sort this out now? why not before?"
Him: "She found out about the weekend"
Pause
Him: "I'm sorry, i dont want to hurt you"
Me: "Too late."
Pause
Me: "you bastard, i hope your dick falls off in a freak nuclear accident"
well, i didn't say that last bit, but i wanted to.
Him: "Can we still be friends?"
Me: "That would be a bt weird, wont it?"
Him: "Uh..... i still wanna hang out with you, you are a cool chick" (damn, i hate that too!)
Me: "I dont think its a good idea, look i gotta go. bye"
Him "B (i hung up)
I had to go contemplate the best revenge and my own doom at the same time. yep, im the Queen of multitasking! I didnt do either. revenge aint worth it and neither is he. Bastard. So, guys suck and apparently im a cool chick. Ugh. Everyones friend, no ones lover. The Simple Life of Me. But im over moping. just thought i would show you how hopeless the male population can be. thats all from me for now, gotta attempt to do some work.
Good bye cruel world... Till next time.

The Race That Fills The Pubs

Howdy all. Woohoo, Melbourne Cup Day! I personaly cant see what all the excitement is about. I have never gone to the horses, never plan to, and i have no idea how to actualy bet on anything! the closest thing i have come to it all is the sweeps we use to have at school, and i would always end up picking the crapest horse there. I was never lucky. The worst thing about this year is, im not even in a sweep! well, thats understandable considering there is only one other person besides me here at work at the moment. Wouldnt have the same effect would it. But after work im hitting the pubs with friends who will either be celebrating victories or mourning their losses. I think a nice beer would go down well. if, of course, i actualy drank beer. damn. Champagne it is although i dont really look like the girly champas sipping type. i have never worn a fascinator. the closest i have gotten is a bit of foliage stuck in my hair after falling into a bush whilst drunk. And i am definately NOT a frock person either. So the Melbourne Cup really has nothing to offer me, besides an excuse to drink, but i am quite able to find my own excuses. For example, i had a pre birthday party party, my birthday party, a post birthday party party and a tattoo warming party all in the space of 3 weeks. pretty good hey, although i was the only one present at most.
Oh Crap. i just looked at the date. i REALLY have to start my Xmas shopping soon, or noone will be getting anything. Not even coal. I wonder where you would actualy buy coal from???? Hmmm. Well, i think it is time for a smoke break so, have fun all and good luck. Hope your horse wins! (unless i actualy work out this whole betting thing and then i hope my horse wins)
Goodbye cruel world..... for now.

Twenty Onest

Howdy Doody. Long Time no post. whatcha all been up to? i havent blogged for ages. Bad Cessel! But my new job is very, uh, uneventful, so i should have more blogging oportunities! woop woop! ok, i guess its update time. here is what i have been doing since last time.
I turned 21 on October the 17th. had a ball, got drunk, went to see a band and ended up backstage. still not quite sure how that happened.... or what happened after that.... oops
got my 21st bday pressie! a tattoo. ouchy ouchy. definately worth it and i am now in love with my back! (picture coming soon!)
Kezz graced us with his presence for my 21st bday party! we miss you so much!
Row has filled the gap in my home after kezz moved to greener pastures. still moulding him into a decent kezz replacement. im teaching him Kezz Studies 101, and he is studying Kylie Minouge and how to bust a move like a screaming queen. he is coming along slowly..... he he he. just kidding. wouldnt want row to be anything else but row! but i do miss pizza, red wine and the showgirl dvd. men in newspaper budgie smugglers. mmmmmmm
Looking forward to summer! bring it on! but i think ill leave the Bikini in the cupboard again this year.....
Still loving themed bday partys, after my own Rock Star themed 21st and the Pirate/Beach party i attended on sat night. damn that was good punch! not sure how good the rest of the night was. cant remember much.....
HAPPY HALLOWEEN FOR TOMORROW! love the holiday, hate the fact we dont celebrate it. the one thing we could all benifit from that we could steal from america, and we bloody choose McDonalds! HELLO!!!!! the most pointless, but most fun, of all the other holidays we have! besides xmas and easter. go pressies and chockies! oh, that reminds me! i must start my xmas shopping soon, before i leave it too late and am still doing it in March. so, kezz and Nic, tell me what you want. dont do the whole "oh, nothing" thing, ill buy you something really crap if you do that! so, give me a list or drop some hints. ill do the rest.
well, thats it from me for now. and i promise to blog soon.
Pip toodle

Sex, Lies, Scandal and Toilet Paper! Part 2

Woo hoo, update time! Kabby and Mike are talking to each other again, but it doesnt seem to be going anywhere fast. Instead, Kabby has set up a montorous date tonight with a guy she met once and reminds her of her ex. I dont think this is going to end well. Haven't seen much of Harry, as now Harry is not talking to Kezz after romantic differences, namely Kezz not being all that interested and Harry only being able to hold a conversation if it relates to himself in some way. Deg has since spoken to Kabby and told her that she will forget about what happened at her house with Mike if she apologises. Geez, seems pretty easy to get over. Kabby finally made an attempt at playing netball last night, despite the friction with the rest of the team, and she seems proud of herself. amazing what the absence of a hangover will do to your ball skills. ha ha. Oh, the team won the game. woohoo to them! big congrats! oh, and the reference to toilet paper in the title of the previous blog and this one relates to the chick me and Bobboy saw on that evenful evening who walked out of the toilet with a long stream of loo paper attached to her stiletto heel. just shows you it really does happen! this was made funnier by the smug self-loving look and short skirt this girl was wearing. he he he, i love Karma! well, that is really all i have to report at the moment. will bring you more breaking news as it happens. till next time, goodbye cruel world and happy easter! mmmm, chocky!

Sex, Lies, Scandal and Toilet Paper! Part 1

Hi everybody! i am just passing time before i have to take my dog to the vet. well, she isnt exactly my dog, she belongs to my family, but, for blogging reasons, it is easier to say she is mine. for everyone else, you would think this would be a normal exercise, but you havent seen my dog! shes HUGE! and my car is a bit on the small side! its like trying to put an octopus in a string bag! except its trying to put my dog (who is apparently part great dane) into a small red car called elmo. fun fun. and this is hard enough getting there let alone getting her in AFTER her injection! and i am going to be doing this every tuesday for three weeks. i really need a bigger car or a smaller dog. maybe i should hire a trailer next week.... but enough about that. probably not all that interesting for you people out there in cyber space. i guess i should fill you in on the stroy i promised you all. It all started with an innocent night out for Kabby's 20th birthday. we were all celebrating the event at Harry's place. This was fine, it was just the guest list that was a bit wacked. Harry shares a house with two girls, Mell and Deg. Deg was holding a hens night for a mate at the same location (due to changes in venue). this would have been fine if her ex boyfriend Mike hadnt been invited to Kabbys party. Are you lost yet? just bear with me, ok. Kabby's party was basicaly a singles party. are you getting why the Mike invited thing was bad yet? dont worry, you will. At Kezza's and my place before the big event, Country Girl came round to start the evening off. It was at this point in time, Country Girl informed us that she had a soft spot for Mike, and was going to tell him tonight. That was all fine, till we got there. the party was rather uneventful, but when we hit the pubs, it all got a bit messy. Mike and Kabby were hitting it off rather well, which was unfortunate for Country Girl. Country Girl previously had told him that she had a thing for him, which was met with "your a nice girl, but...." all pretty ego damaging. then she saw mike getting very close to Kabby on the dabce floor, one more blow to her already dwindiling ego. Counrty Girl made an excuse to leave and was seen later on at another pub with the same look of hurt spread across her face. Don't worry, country girl ended up with another bloke that night. Back to Kabby. As i mentioned kabby and mike were getting pretty close on the dance floor, which proceeded to swapping saliva at the second pub we went to. Deg was witness to all this, and, after just a couple of weeks of the breakup, this really wasnt what she wanted to see. she probably could have left it at that if the other events later on hadnt occured. Me and Kez trundled off home and were informed the next day of Kabby and Mikes exploits. Kabby, Mike and Harry all went back to Harry's place (also home of Deg and Mell). Kabby got comfy on the sofa bed whilst everyone else gossiped in Mells room. After a period of time, Kabby was joined by Mike. You can probably guess what happened. Kabby didnt think much of it thill Deg left in the early hours of the morining pretty upset. It was obvious she knew what had happened. Kabby and Mike had got it on at the ex's place. Not a good thing. we also found out later that Mell, Degs sister was also after Mike. So now, Kabby is not talking to Mike (other reasons, but that night did not go any further), Deg isnt talking to Mell, Kabby, Mike or Harry, Mell isnt talking to Kabby, Mike or Deg and they all happen to play on the same netball team! There has been lots of bitching, snapping, ignoring and tears in the house, which Kabby does not frequent anymore and comes to Kezza's and my house to see Harry. I hope you followed that and the next installment of the other events that night will be brought to you shortly. Any questions, just ask, but now, i gotta take my dog to the vet. shudder. Till Next Time, Goodbye Cruel World!

Meme and youyou

This one i got from the Kez-meister! woo hoo! Four jobs you have had in your life: 1. Checkout chick 2. Checkout chick (again! why do i submit myself to this torture!) 3. Waitress (for three days) 4. Cleaner (oh, so entertaining) Four movies you would watch over and over: 1. Muppets from space! 2. Grease 3. Elmo in grouchland! (sooooo cute!) 4. Wallace and Gromit - The curse of the were-rabbit (once again sooooo cute!) Four places you have lived 1. Mount Gambier, SA 2. In a house 3. On a street 4. In Mount Gambier Four TV shows you love to watch: 1. Desperate Housewives (which is on tonight, YAY) 2. The Simpsons 3. CSI 4. Sex and the City Four places you have been on vacation: 1. Brisbane, Qld 2. Adelaide, SA 3. Geelong, VIC 4. Southend, SA Four websites I visit (Almost) daily 1. Job Search, curse of the unemployed 2. Hotmail 3. Blogs, of course 4. Any site that has free games, once again, curse of the unemployed! Four of my favorite foods: 1. Chocolate 2. Chocolate 3. Chocolate 4. and ummmm, Chocolate Four places I would rather be right now: 1. Asleep 2. Asleep with Johnny Depp 3. Asleep with Johnny Depp in a Villa 4. Asleep with Johnny Depp in a Villa in France Four things I love to do 1. Join Kez dancing like a burning spastic 2. Eat chocolate 3. Sleep with Johnny Depp! 4. Watch Kylie's Showgirl DVD whilst dancing like a burning spastic with Kez, dreaming of Johnny Depp covered in chocolate!!!! Four friends who I have tagged that I think will respond: 1. Kez, if ha hadn't already done it 2. Nic if she ever actualy reads it 3. Johnny Depp 4. ummm, and you who is reading this! Well, that was fun and wasted a sufficient amount of time! promise will post soon, but working on special story for you all that needs more info. Basicaly it is about a girl, a boy, an ex, another girl, a couple of other girls, a couch, grog, shit, fans, pay outs and Johnny Depp. I'll keep ya posted. must extract more goss!

Sophistimicated

Ha ha! I am officialy sophisticated! Last night, to celebrate Kez's birthday, i actualy enjoyed a glass of red and a cigar! I hate red wine, but last night it went down surprisinlgy well! Unfortunately it was ruined by watching Frankenhooker - a seriously dodgy 80's horror flick. Let's just say it was one an a half hours i'll never get back. It sounded like a good idea at the time. kinda like taking home that hot guy at the pub only to wake up next to someone who looks like your primary school headmaster. Speaking of headmasters (ha ha to all you dirty people out there who just got x rated images of domanatrix blow-jobs!) this weekend Kez, a few selected freinds and i will be packing our bags for a good ol' trip down memory lane! Our school bags that is! Kez and i decided that it would be a laugh to have a good old fashioned kiddie party for his 22nd. This was then followed by the idea of having everyone dress in school uniform and play party games all night. This, mixed with plenty of alcohol, promised to be a rather amusing night! So, after much preparation, the night is almost upon us! This saturday night i will be dressed as a young, preppy school girl drinking scotch out of themed party cups, making a fool of myself and carting around a red, fluffy elmo backpack! What more could a girl want? Other themed dress up partys are also in the mix this year! My darling Mummy has decided to have a joint party with a few other people for her 40th, which theme is anything to do with music. At the moment i am tossing up between Madonna (80's style of course), Alice Cooper or something as equaly hideous! Then, later on in the year, is my 21st! I had a lot of difficulty trying to pick something memorable to do for my 'officialy-an-adult' big day, as my uncle (we shall call him Don for the moment) promised to wear a dress. Mind you, my uncle is, ummmmm, looks rather intimidating. Give him a Harley and you have the makings of a pretty convincing bikie. So, this was a promise i had to hold him to. After ditching the idea to have a reverse party, where men dressed as women and vice versa (didnt think any guys i knew would be up for that) i finaly settled upon a bad-taste event. That way, anything goes! this was greeted by much shrieking and hand clapping from Kez, so i knew i was onto a winner. So, this year seems to be full of merryment and giggles, which is just how it should be. I would love to hear from anyone who has other dress up ideas, or has been to a successful one and wants to share. There are still more party's to be planned and, frankly, we are all running out of ideas! So, till next time, goodbye cruel world! And Happy B-Day KEZ! You Cheetah you!

77 things about moi

OK people, it’s time for Cessel to get motivted. I must confess, my previous posts have been as interesting as a Chess Board Collectors Convention. Aka, damn boring. So i have decided to right this collosal wrong and let you in to my life, and try it make it interesting at the same time. Good luck to me! So, to start this little project of mine, here are 77 things you didn’t know about moi. Well, some of you might but, oh well, put up with it! Number One. Hmmm, let’s see, I use to fight for room with myself in my own bed (damn half awake - half asleep limbo-ness) Number Two. I have three hairs in each arm pit and five on each leg. Number Three. When i was little i use to always carry around a XXXX beer tap that i named Wednesday. Number Four. I have double jointed elbows. Number Five. My nickname in high school was TossLess. Number Six. I have long feet and small toes. Apparently they are ‘cute’. Number Seven. I sneeze like a cat. Also apparently cute. Number Eight. Burp. Number Eight. Burp. Number Eight. Burp. Number Nine. I stayed in a hotel for the first time last year. Number Ten. I live with a Sexy Cheetah! Number Eleven. I have dressed as a man twice, convincingly. Number Twelve. I once had car named “The Lean Mean Bunny Hopping Machine”. Number Thirteen. I have Two wives, One Mistress and a boyfriend. Number Fourteen. 2004/2005 new years i was hit on by two females. And no guys. Might have something to do with number eleven.... Number Fifteen. I can play ‘Smoke On The Water’ on guitar. On one string. Number Sixteen. When i was younger, Jimmy Barnes sang to me. Number Seventeen. I am a HUGE muppets fan. Number Eighteen. You don’t make friends with salad. You don’t make friends with salad. Number Nineteen. I would love to have been a teenager during the 1950’s. Number Twenty. This is my age. Number Twenty One. This is Not my age yet. will be my age in October. Number Twenty Two. I am a Libra. My turn ons include silk sheets, my turn offs include rude people. Number Twenty Three. I want a statue of myself made out of chocolate. Number Twenty Four. I love shoes and bags! Number Twenty Five. I have an arm fetish. Mmmm Vin Diesel.... (slobber) Number Twenty Six. I love watching kids cartoons and sesame street. Number Twently Seven. I own a CatDog puppet! Number Twenty Eight. The first time i ever took/smoked drugs was by accident. i thought the joint was a rollie and smoked the whole thing by myself in the local nightclub. Number Twenty Nine. I once sat an exam whilst passivley high. Yes, i failed. Number Thirty. At 5 pm ish on the 31st of December 1999 i sprained my ankle. I had to spend the rest of the night on painkillers with my mum and brothers. Number Thirty One. I just broke a nail. Damn. Number Thirty Two. I love long walks on the beach and picnics in the park. Not. Number Thirty Three. I have only ever recieved two red roses, and both because they were guilted into it by the people selling them. Number Thirty Four. In Year Eleven i was a frog. Number Thirty Five. I ate Dog Chocolates when i was little. Number Thirty Six. Seven is my favourite number. Number Thirty Seven. My alter ego is Helga. She is a backpacker from Sweden, her brists are perky and she never knows vere ze zvimming iz. Number Thirty Eight. My fav ice cream flavour is bubble gum. I always dye myself green. Number Thirty Nine. I HATE thursdays. They are now referred to as SMARCH, change all calenders accordingly. Thank You. Number Forty. When i am this age, i look forward to midlife crisis, where i will buy a red sports car, divorce my husband (if i in fact have one) and have lots of meaningless encounters with men half my age.Yay! Number Forty One. Geez, getting along now aren’t we. Getting hard to think of stuff. If you made it this far, congratulations, if not, you are a lazy bastard. Not like you are going to read my insults anyway. Twat. Number Forty Two. I am addicted to lime cordial! Number Forty Three. I love sudoku puzzles and scrapbooking. I’m twenty going on sixty! Next i will take up knitting! Number Fourty Four. I have a pet cat called Covu. She was the family cat, but adopted me as her owner. She hates everyone else, gets upset when i come home smelling like other cats, chases small dogs down the road and demands her dinner be ready when she comes inside, five times a day. She is the perfect husband! Number Fourty Five. I’m not a very patient person. Number Forty Seven. I also take lots of short cuts. Number Forty Eight. I’m starting to run out of things to write. Number Forty Nine. Oh damn. Number Fifty. I LOVE Desperate Housewives! The T.V. show, not actual wives. Oh bugger it. To be continued........ (I couldn’t be arsed thinking up 27 more things about myself. But i promise to update when i find more! Feel free to ask questions tho, I also promise to answer them as honest as possible! Or as humerously as possible..... Maybe you should specify which you would prefer. Or I could just answer it both ways. Am I wafling on? I am? Oh, I’ll stop typing now!) Till Next Time, Goodbye Cruel World! (OK, I’ll stop.....NOW!)

Over Age

Howdy all! How is everyone on this luverly Friday? I am looking forward to a night full of suspense, action, comedy and drama! No, i'm not raiding a video store, I am venturing into the unknown world of under 18 parties! Ok, so i have been to teeny bopper parties before, but that was purely because i was one and i can't really remember much from them besides scabing smokes, standing in darkened front yards, listening to Eminem (urgh) and drinking Vodka mixers till the sun came up. But this will be different as i WONT be 'one of the crowd'. I will be the 20-something that looks completely out of place, constantly asked to hand out smokes and drinking champagne in small, classy bottles. Oh, and i will be wearing more clothes than anyone else there put together! I have to admit it is a bit daunting. Kind of like being the only deer in a Lion cage! No matter how much you try to hide they will always sniff you out. But it could be benificial for me in a way! I will be cool due to the fact that age is always a novelty to the under 18's. For example i can drink, drive (even after having one drink!), vote, party in pubs and clubs all without legal consequences! Something unknown to this bunch. Hell, when i was their age i thought people older than me were cool! But, enough of that, i shall fill you in at a later date. Last night, whilst lying in bed with my trusty book i stumbled upon something so hilarious i nearly gave myself a free ride in an ambulance! This book i mentioned is full of short stories written by top female authors, and one story was all about boobs and the never ending search for the perfect size. It made me think, what is the perfect size, small, large, round, perky, saggy? I must confess mine are very large, round and a tad bit saggy (damn gravity) and i hate them. But is smaller really better? So, i must pass this question on to you before i start groping every woman in sight to find my answer. What do you think is the perfect size breast, does it matter, would you consider a boob job, and what is the fascination with this particular body part? Till next time, Goodbye cruel world!

Love Is In The Air

Happy Valentines Day! To everyone out there i hope today is filled with flowers, chocolates, cards and romance! I got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning, so, knowing my luck my day will be filled with allergies, weight issues, junk mail and heartbreak. Not much has really been happening lately. My fish died. It was sad. Kez and I flushed him down the loo (yes, i love Finding Nemo!), well i flushed him while Kez stood there going "Oh My God, thats gross!". But it all ended well as i now have two fish! i went a bought them the other day. They are so cute! well, as cute as fish can be. Nic is leaving in 2 days. Sob. I still have no job. Sob Sob. And i really dont have anything else to talk about. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Once again, if you read this, comment and suggest something i should write about! not good at coming up with it all on my own! Kinda hard when all you do all day is mope and look for work!. Well, till next time, goodbye cruel world!

Confessions of a non-teenage idiot

Ok Kez, you asked for it, here we go......

My top 50 Goals.
1. Find 49 life goals.
2. Actualy get a life to go with life goals.
3. Buy soccer goals. (he he he, ok serious now).
4. Buy hot new wardrobe.
5. Find money for hot new wardrobe purchases.
6. Get a job (might help with no. 4 and 5).
7. Eat more chocolate.
8. Loose weight.
9. Dye hair cool funky colours.
10. Maybe quit smoking..... maybe.
11. Own a Tickle Me Elmo.
12. Win the lottery (might not have to get that job then!!!!!)
13. Own a villa in the south of France.
14. Own 2 villas.
15. Own lot's of villas.
16. Own France.
17. Take over the world!!!! mwa ha ha ha.
18. Write No. 1 pop song so i can meet lots of famous people.
19. Marry Johnny Depp.
20. And Angelina Jolie!
21. Wax John Howards eyebrows.
22. Sell my brother into slavery.
23. Buy lots of shoes.
24. And bags.
25. Learn how to play a musical instrument... maybe the kazoo.
26. Have wardrobe malfunction on live TV.
27. Find cool hip groovy friends to hang out in at funky bars.
28. Find a funky bar.
29. Drink lots of coffee with husband Johnny and wife Angelina in villa
30. See all my fav. bands live.
31. Finish a computer game (only coz i never seem to do it!)
32. Learn how to play poker.
33. Buy cool green visor and sit in smoke filled room drinking beer and playing poker.
34. Be worshiped by hot men.
35. Cook 1 meal without burning it or stuffing it up.
36. Become a pimp.
37. Travel around the world that i now own.
38. Analyse Dr Phil.
39. Get into Uni.
40. Pass Uni course.
41. Become successful professional and wear POWER SUITS!
42. Have an active social life.
43. Quit blogging due to active social life and no time to blog.
44. Achieve world peace (omg, i sound like a pagent bimbo!)
45. Buy new funky mobile phone.
46. Make Kezz watch Grease.
47. Watch a broadway musical.
48. Be in a broadway musical.
49. Have a broadway musical made about ME!
50. OWN A PORSCHE!!!!!!

THE OTHER ONE.
Two parts of my heritage.
1. German
2. Dutch

Two things that scare you.
1. My reflection
2. Bugs

Two fears you've overcome
1. Living with Kezz
2. The Dark

Two of your everyday essentials.
1. Cigarettes
2. Chocolate

Two things you are wearing right now
1. Jumper from 2005 school musical Grease
2. Cool green sparkly topy thingy

Two things you wore too much of this year.
1. Black skirts
2. Black tops

This years favourite bands or musical artists
1. System of a Down (new album is soooo catchy!)
2. Mudvayne (thanks Nic for the call AAAAH! liveness is goooood!)
3. Metallica

Two things you want in a relationship
1. Johnny Depp
2. Angelina Jolie

Best movies of all time.
1. American History X
2. Seven
3. Queen of the Damned
4. Charlie and the Chocoalte Factory (Tim Burton one)
5. Corpse Bride

Two things you hate
1. Tuna
2. Bitchiness

Two of your favourite hobbies
1. Scrapbooking (yes, granny like but its fun!)
2. Crusing around aimlessly in Elmo - my car

Two things you learnt last year.
1. Going back to school is harder htan it seems.
2. Me + Alcohol = BAD!

Two accomplishments you were proud of.
1. Going back to school
2. Moving out of home

Two things you want really badly
1. A Porsche
2. A Red Rose

Two places you went last year
1. Adelaide
2. Geelong

Two places you want to go on vacation
1. Paris
2. Egypt

Two things you want to do before you die?
1. Live
2. Have fun doing it

Two ways that you are a stereotypical example of your gender?
1. My obsession with shoes and bags
2. Skirt wearing

Two things that make you stand out from your gender
1. I own a fishing rod and i use it!
2. I only spend 5 minutes on my face and hair

Two things you wouldn't normally admit.
1. I like Rouge Traders and Black Eyed Peas. shhhhhhh!
2. I havent shaved my legs for 2 weeks.

Two goals for the new year
1. Get a Job
2. Get fit

Well, there we go. lots about me. now im tired - too much thinking - , so i guess i will pass this batton on to Nic, good luck gurl!

From Strippers To Grannys!

Oh dear. i have slacked off havent i. i havent posted for days!!! Well, it's not like anyone else has commented or anything tho. face it, we are all slack arses! Hmm, so what has happened since last time i wrote.... ummm, things are going well in the new place. went to adelaide on the weekend for a 21st and ended up at a strip club (not a good place to be when you are an overweight emotional drunk who stupidly went along with her boyfriend - bad move) well, you can guess why we only stayed for 15mins. Rest of the weekend was uneventful but im feeling very tired after trying hopelessly to sleep on a damn floor and not to throw up the litres of booze i consumed. (hey, it was free, what more can i say!) I must say going out in the city was not as fun as i thought it would be! i was constantly paranoid that someone might come along and stab-rape-mug-etc me as well as the fact that i had no idea of our exact whereabouts! oh, i didnt have any drinkls out for fear of being drugged. ok ok, so im a paranoid freak, but when you are as drunk as i was, and you are in an environment so unlike what you are use to, you would freak out too. i hope.

Have been passing time by playing card games with Bobby and Wendy, mainly hearts and Texas Holdem'. If we keep going the way we are, we will be swapping photos of grandkids, baking cookies and complaining about our hip problems in no time! Oh, and puzzles have become a big thing too.

Uh...... sadly, thats about it. I lead an uneventful life. i might have to start making up shit again just to make this damn thing interesting. or blog full conversations that i think may be amusing. Note to self, must carry around small notebook to record such conversations.

Well, till next time, goodbye cruel world.


P.S. if you are reading this COMMENT YOU BASTARD!!!!!

Apology

I appologise for the last depressing entry. it will never happen again. promise. but, you must realise i was drunk and it made me all pathetic. Anyways, good news! i moved out and i have a new flat mate! woo hoo. The oooooooobber-cool-fag-fantasitc (and funky!) KEZ. Ok ok, so he is sitting next to me and i am sucking up, but hey, i gotta get along with him.
Last night was spent devouring fat cooked in fat and drizzled with more fat, the best chocolate and cookie ice cream and soppy chick flicks. oh, and Kath and Kim. It was fun and great, but then i went to see Him. We talked and (after a while) decided to take things easy and see what its like if im not living with him. so, happy all round. i guess.
so, dilema sorted and now, i must go celebrate with another champas. and another. 'hic'
Till neesh tyme, gooshbye kwrel wowd........

New Years Resolution

I have a new new years resolution. i was going to post a blog earlier today about my resolution, but after tonight, that has all changed. Alot of stuff happened tonight. My friend got enganged (congrats Kabby), i got rather smished and i found out how really depressed i have been this last year. at the hands of someone else. this may be depressing for my second blog in my new home, but i have to get it out somehow. and cyber space seems like the place. my new new years resolution is to be happy and get my life back. yes, i split up with my long term bf tonight. mainly due to the fact that, with him, i wasnt happy anymore. there is only so much hurtful shit you can handle, right? i know the next few weeks are gonna be hard, but i need to let go and find the me that has been buried under so much crap, that i wouldnt recognise myself if i hit myself over the head with a sledge hammer. so, another relationship has ended and a new year has begun. time to start thinking about myself (selfish i know but, hey, im aloud to!!!) and have fun. so much fun it starts oozing from every pore. i have my cat tonight and my family tomorro, but i just have to stick it through and not give in.
Now that that is over, on to the good stuff. tonight (apart from the obvious) was pretty good. i shook my booty in all the right places and laughed hystericaly at nothing. I also hugged neumerous people at midnight (including one of my teachers - dont ask!) and made a complete ass of myself. usual new years stuff. I drank too much booze (although sobered up pretty quickly - due to above stuff) and smashed my first glass (by accident, but still kinda due to above stuff). all in all, it was a normal new years night. Nothing like welcoming the new year in a pathetic heap wraped around a loo! If it didnt end like that, it wouldnt really be new years. but now, its all over, 2005 and all its mistakes are behind me. its time to embrace 2006 with open - but drunken - arms. so, happy new year, "i will survive" and, till next time, goodbye cruel world!!!